Even though it’s supposed to be fun, dating can be difficult. While app dating has made it easier for us to connect with people we wouldn’t normally meet, it adds a whole extra layer of complications. It can be incredibly nerve-wracking to meet someone IRL for the first time.
Let’s take a closer look at 10 common first date mistakes (and how to avoid them).
1. Arriving Late to the Date
Being late to your first date can make you appear unreliable and flaky. And who wants to date someone with those qualities?
How to avoid it: Take steps to ensure that you’ll arrive on time. If something comes up that causes you to be late, be sure to let your text know via text or phone call so that they’re prepared to wait for you.
2. Dominating the Conversation
No one wants to sit across the table from someone who’s only talking about themselves. It can feel great to have someone genuinely interested in learning more about you, but it’s important for you to ask them about themselves, too. If you don’t, your date will think you’re not interested in them.
How to avoid it: Try to keep the conversation flowing back and forth. If your date is shy, it might feel challenging to get them to open up. Come up with a list of questions to ask ahead of time to try to encourage open-ended conversation.
3. Checking Your Phone
For most of us, checking our phones can be a very bad habit. It might make your date feel like you’re distracted, bored or too busy for them — all of which can be extremely off-putting.
How to avoid it: Keep your phone in your pocket or purse. Avoid checking it or answering any calls unless there’s a good reason — such as a family or work emergency.
If you absolutely must take a phone call during your date, be sure to excuse yourself and head to the restroom or outside.
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4. Selling Yourself Short
When you’re on a date, the last thing you want to do is talk about all of your bad qualities or flaws. This is only going to make your date wonder how they ended up here with you.
How to avoid it: Try to talk about your good qualities. Keep a positive attitude, and don’t let your date see that you’re lacking confidence.
5. Bragging About Yourself
Bragging can be extremely off-putting. No one wants to hear about how much money you make or how much you paid for your new car. Your date wants to get to know you — not hear about how much you’ve paid for material things.
How to avoid it: Avoid talking about the cost of anything… period. And avoid bragging about anything else.
6. Talking About Your Ex
The last thing your date wants to hear about is your ex. Talking about them will give your date the impression that you haven’t moved on yet and that you aren’t ready to start a new relationship.
How to avoid it: Don’t bring your ex up. Even if your date asks a question about your previous relationships, try to keep your answers to the bare minimum.
Maintain neutrality when it comes to any discussion about your exes. If you are questioned about your exes, don’t bash them or boast about them. And, no matter what you do, never ever compare your ex to your date.
7. Revealing Too Much Too Soon
Revealing too much too soon can be off-putting to some. Although this can apply to anything, a common mistake many people make is sharing too much about themselves medically.
How to avoid it: Consider how much you’re sharing before you bring up a topic. Avoid talking about anything related to your bathroom habits on the first (or second or third) date.
8. Venting or Complaining
No one wants to date someone who comes off as very negative. Most of us want to date someone who will add more positivity to our lives — not weigh us down with their problems.
How to avoid it: Avoid venting, complaining or gossiping on a first date. Share your stories about how awful your boss is with a friend later on.
9. Getting Drunk
No one wants to deal with a drunken mess on a first date. You don’t want to say things you’ll later regret or have your date worrying about whether or not you’ll get home safely. Alcohol can us lead us to make decisions we might not ordinarily make.
How to avoid it: Drink one or two alcoholic beverages. If you know you’re a lightweight, consider avoiding alcohol altogether.
10. Expecting Your Date to Foot the Bill
Women generally tend to expect the man to pay for the bill. And while this can be an incredibly nice gesture, not every man is going to offer to pay for the date. Be prepared for the chance that he might not pay. (You can decide what you want to do about that later on).
How to avoid it: Offer to split the check. If he insists on paying, offer to cover the tip. He may or may not take you up on the offer, but at least you offered — which will send the message that you’re not expecting him to pay for everything and that you’re not entitled.
